driving with doris

so imagine this:

you’re in a car…with someone driving manual…and the car is lurching forward as the driver changes gears…and you can only think “thank god for seat belts”

and now imagine this:

you’re in a car…with your 69 year old grandma…and the car is lurching forward and quickly stopping as your grandma drives in that dangerously cautious way that so many grandmas seem to do…and you can only think “thank god for seat belts”

now put those 2 scenarios together, multiply it by 3.8, and you have a slight idea of what it’s like to ride with Doris.

I have nothing but respect for her as a driver, but as a passenger, I have a few (really just a few) grievances.

*quick interjection* Let me just say, the first thing I learned when driving with my mother was to prioritize the passenger’s comfort. Safety is cool and all (and i learned all about that stuff in driving school) but according to my mother, it’s not about my convenience or comfort. no no nooo. it’s all about the passenger(s). *quick interjection*

With that said, I think I’m a satisfactory driver who truly offers an all around pleasant riding experience. I ease into stops, accelerate gently, and have smooth lane changes 98% of the time.

Doris on the other hand…would probably be more around a 63%…

Let’s just say every time we hop in the car, I wanna put my hand over hers on the stick shift and say “I got this one”.

Sometimes, in my head I sing “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEL, TAKE IT FROM HER HAAANDS.” that’s it. just those two lines. not even the rest of the song. (partially because i can’t remember it buuuut)

LIKE you guys don’t understand the internal pain I feel when I’m going “AUGH” and “eghhhuh” as my body is thrown back and forth against the seat belt.

and if i come home with a neck brace, just know i’m lucky i made it out with minimal whiplash.

Those are just some thoughts I’ve been having that I wanted to share.


the world could be a much nicer place if everybody wanted to be a little more gentle with their gas and brake pedals. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, i’m kidding with the comments at the end…kind of.


Let me know if you have any questions about what’s up. Or just tell me things in general!



2 Comments Add yours

  1. Michelle says:

    You are funny.

    Liked by 1 person

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